The OUTFIELD - "Going the Distance"

Outfielders are mis-understood and often under-estimated. They spend long hours spectating most games - watching balls flying over their heads or looking and waiting impatiently for the infield to come out and collect the 'bleeders'.

Quite often they are mystified why every other team member is calling their name - so they wave to them, doff the hat and hope that the fly ball they haven't seen doesn't scone them.

Preparation for an outfielder is intense:

• extra sunblock application to the roof of the mouth
• substantial increases in the distances required to take up the position - hence a solid jogging regime
• severe squinting exercises - hoping this will assist in the eternal 'spot the ball' game that is invariably played
• (if a pitcher is 'on song') the need to block out boredom fatigue - this is achieved usually by dreaming of the great catches they had taken during the halcion 70's and 80's

Outfielders are also very fashion conscious. They are well known for their eyewear. Designer sunglasses are often seen atop of their cap and these sunglasses have a multitude of uses. They can be worn stylishly on the cap; they can be worn stylishly atop the head at night; they can be worn to reduce the intensity of sunlight (almost essential for the early games after a big night); they can be blamed for losing sight of the ball and outfielders can relieve the tedium by polishing them as well. Outfielders’ sunglasses also may be able to protect the wearer from the pitcher’s “look of death” after dropping a “sitter”.

EVERY SQUAD MEMBER is an outfield candidate so don't think you will escape any of the 3 (stooge) positions. Specialist outfielders are a thing of the past at our ages - along with some other pleasures of life.

Oh and um ...... Coach Watts was quoted as saying "Bloody outfielders, they're never able to take that winning catch in a game BUT have you ever seen an Alice squad member spill a drink? - NO. .........AND I stress to all that there is one little black duck that you will never see in the outfield - ME".

Read "Bulls Hit Weekly" for more breaking news as the lead up to the Alice Masters intensifies.